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Not just small adults: eating disorders in young children

More and more researchers and clinicians are becoming aware of the presence of eating disorders in young children (defined here and in most of the research literature as ED onset at less than 13 years). I have known five-year-olds with full-blown anorexia nervosa. Whether this awareness is due to people developing EDs at an earlier […]

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In praise of the difficult patients

When I was being treated for my eating disorder, I was a pain in the ass. I say this not with shame and loathing or as a badge of pride. I was a pain; that’s pretty much a fact. I lied, I cheated, I stayed silent when I should have talked and talked when I […]

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Back to Blogging

So it’s been a while since I’ve blogged. To be honest, the depression and anxiety fully kicked my butt, and it was So. Much. Harder. to get my eating back on track than I anticipated, partly due to the anxiety and depression and partly due to the fact that I increased in my intake and […]

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Letting go of the idealized recovery

If you hear some in the eating disorder community talk about recovery, you could be forgiven for thinking that they were trying to get you to buy a timeshare at a resort. Recovery, they say, is where you love yourself. You love your body. You accept your imperfections. Your life is good, so good. You’ve gotten to the root of your […]

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Puberty and Eating Disorders- The Perfect Storm

Puberty sucks. Let’s just get that out of the way. Your body is changing, sprouting breasts and zits at the most inopportune of times. The angst of being more or less “developed” than your friends (hello, locker room comparisons!) is difficult. Then there are the psychosocial changes. Your peer relations grow much more complicated, you […]

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Pluck my life: Hair pulling in eating disorders

I’ve used this blog to confess to all sorts of bizarre behaviors related to my eating disorder, from laxatives to suicide attempts. Lest anyone reading this blog still be under the illusion that an ED is glamorous, let me remind you that it’s not. At all. But I haven’t really discussed one of the things […]

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Why me? Survivor’s guilt and EDs

I was always told that if I worked hard enough, I could recover. With hard work and time, the treatment centers told me, I would get well. I am, by most measures, doing well. I’m not “fully recovered,” nor do I really understand what that term means. But I am doing well. It’s a fact […]

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Baby makes four: When mothers have eating disorders

According to most mainstream media articles and more than a century of psychological research, eating disorders are the near-exclusive purview of young teenage girls. But what happens when that girl grows up? We know now that eating disorders can follow sufferers through college, young adulthood, and into partnerships, marriage, and pregnancy. As much as we […]

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How am I feeling? Alexithymia and eating disorders

My treatment team always used to get so mad at me because I’d always answer the question “How are you doing?” with “I’m fine.” No, no, they said, tell me how you’re really feeling. Although I had times where I did know what I was feeling and either didn’t feel like sharing or didn’t feel I could […]

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The trauma of having an eating disorder

It wasn’t long after I returned home to Michigan that the nightmares started. They weren’t overtly frightening or threatening- no boogeymen, no one chasing me. Instead, I found myself back at the treatment facility where I had spent the previous seven months. I was returning a failure. I had relapsed somehow, although I couldn’t tell […]

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